For about a year and a half now, I've taken to trying to see deeper into the people that I really care about. If I want to try and see how someone is really feeling, in the big picture, I can't just ask them sometimes. It's not that I don't trust them, it's just that, like reading a book can get you exactly what an author meant to say quicker than having someone tell you it, reading a person's eyes can get you their deep feelings, if you can connect to them.
I'm not sure how I got so good at reading people's eyes, but for some reason, whenever I have really looked deep into someone's eyes, I can see what their deepest feelings are, and maybe what they long for. I'm about 90% sure it might be God's gift to me, to see into the depths of a person's soul. I just know that I think I can make this work to an advantage if I use it properly. The way I run after kids in my high school, and maybe even the middle schoolers at Wyldlife, it would all change a bit. More understanding, cause I can get to the depths of someone's heart.
I've always believed that the eyes can't tell a lie when read properly. Of course, if you look at the eyes like a lock, there are always different difficulties to get to the soul. Some people are very vulnerable, and will let anyone who cares to look in. Maybe I always get those people, I don't know. There are also people who you really have to stare into their eyes for a while to see how to get in. Maybe even some who just made their soul nearly impenetrable.
In any case, once you're seeing the inside of the soul, through someone's eyes, you may be surprised at what you see. There are many people out there who will put on a mask over their face. If you try to read their facial expressions, you could get there, but I think when you have the ones who have mastered the trickery of the face, you can't tell what's really going on inside. You can't put a mask over the eyes. Sure, there are contacts that can change color, or even cover the color of your eyes, but I still don't think you can cover your eyes in such a way that you will hide your true feelings completely.
I can remember looking into the hazel eyes of a friend at camp after my Freshman year. All I could see was a longing to be loved. All she wanted was to know that she was deeply, undeniably loved by someone, or something. Her past was the reason, but I'm not about to tell her life's story from what I can remember of it on here for the whole world to see.
I can also remember a pair of deep blue eyes that couldn't tell a lie if they wanted to. This person wasn't closed off that much, but she too, longed to be loved. The only difference, she has/had a specific person in mind. This not only caused much pain to her, but it's continuing to cause pain, because it seems the harder she tries, the worse the situation gets. I wish there was something I could do to help her, but it seems that there isn't much of a chance of that happening. It seems that she is trying to take it on all by herself. I've tried to tell her that she doesn't gotta be alone with it, but I don't know if she wants help. That's the big issue, you have to WANT help, before you can receive help. I remember going over to her house, and trying to take her mind off of the pain, but it's consuming her heart. I admire her dedication, but she's letting the pain of not having that one person tear up her heart, which can, and probably will cause problems for her down the road.
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On a side note, how often do we try this? Giving all of our hearts to something that doesn't love us back. How often are we hurt by this? Why can't we just believe that we were made for so much more than that one thing that is just causing us pain, and suffering? Why do we as people who have found that one thing that does really love us back, no matter the circumstance, sit back, and watch as our friends are giving their lives to those things that can't love them back, or at least not perfectly, and not through all the bad times, as well as the good ones? Why?
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I also remember looking into the baby blue eyes of one of my good friends, and if I've ever had trouble unlocking the eyes, it's been with this person. Whether that reason is because of my own feelings, or because she's got those eyes that are hard to see into, I can't tell, I just know I had a challenge getting there. When I finally got in, I was both uplifted, and very excited. For once, I saw a person who had hope. I knew she did, but seeing it, and hearing it kind of give you that extra little kick that makes it definite. She knows where love is, and she's gone there. Many times. It wasn't too long before I saw these things that a great event took place, and I saw joy, but a knowledge in her heart that the joy from this event was easily topped. Topped not only by where she found her hope, but the simpler things that she and her friends did that had seemingly nothing to do with why they were together every day. She found a much larger joy in that. Even if you had never talked to this girl before, you could tell that she wasn't really looking to the gold and silver of the earth, but to her God, where she found her life, and her hope.
Yes, I know I only have a few girls to post about, but let's be honest, I haven't tried to crack the code to a guy's soul. This is something I want to try, because like I said earlier, I believe that if I can see into the heart of someone I wanna chase after, the way I love them could change. God would use this knowledge I gain in a way to help me go after him like I should.
Just something I thought about.
Love you guys,
TJ
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