This almost went over my head

It seems like a very sad thing that I can say this, but it definitely just occured to me that I'm getting baptized tomorrow. After a little over a year of having this relationship with Christ, I'm finally getting a chance to outwardly show what He has done in my life. It just seems like I should be more excited, and should not have let it slip my mind. That shows how easily distracted I can get when I know that there are way more important things that I should be focused on.

This happens to me in almost everything that I do. Whenever I have something to do, unless I'm with my friends who can help me keep it in my mind, I tend to get very distracted with the things that I'm doing. It's like when I'm playing soccer even. Yesterday, there was just so much happening during the game that should not be the way that we did them, and it definitely aggravated me, because coach is always telling us the way things are. I am just as guilty as all of them, and I definitely am not a perfect soccer player.

In school I get very distracted, because it's really hard hanging out with kids who don't know Christ in school, and acting the way I'm supposed to. I tend to not be able to keep striving to be more like Him every day. I tend to stop, and start heading my own way. I don't like it. I've been seeing myself trying to fix it, but it's definitely not an overnight process. Nor is it one I can do alone. Things are starting to slowly get back to the way they belong, and I just need to have patience that I will eventually get back to where I was, and where I belong. It's nothing I can do though. God's gotta change my heart. I can't do that.

On a positive note, last night was a pretty strange, yet much needed night. I was hanging out with my friend, and we were just talking and pretty much out of nowhere they come out and tell me that I was a strong person. Not just physically. They were saying that I had a strong faith because of all the crap that I go through, and yet I still strive to stay with God. Truthfully, I don't go through too much, and there is always someone who is worse off than me. It was just an encouraging thing to hear someone telling me that I had a very strong faith, when I haven't felt like I have had any faith at all recently. I'm not sure if they were saying this just to say it, or if God was speaking to me through them, and basically inadvertently telling me that I have a stronger faith than I've been putting out, or what, but I know that things like that don't happen by accident.

Pretty much I had one of those nights where something really awesome happens, and you just can't find the means for all the words you mean to speak. I just hope that I can try to stop being such a stickler with my faith, and start living it out as if I were going to die tomorrow. Truthfully, from the words of Francis Chan, I've been "serving God my leftovers" This is definitely not okay, and I really need His help to stop it. I can't there is nothing really than I can do to change it. I need to rely on God's full, steadfast, all powerful, and crazy love.

That's about it. Just kind of occured to me that tomorrow is pretty much one of the most important days in my life.

Love you guys.
TJ

"You have a distinct decision to make: just let life happen, which is tantamount to serving God your leftovers. Or actively run towards Christ"