Have you ever had that feeling, that you know you want to go out into the deepest pits of the world, and do God's work, but then you slowly realize that you don't have the resources to do so, or you think you're not good enough for the job?
I know I have
One time I remember having this time of feeling was around Spring time last year, all of my good friends were talking about going to Costa Rica for Spring Break, and I desperately wanted to go, because I knew that God was going to use all of us to do great things there. Well, I knew that money was going to be my biggest adversary when this came along, but I also needed to get a new passport.... I thought "Well this sucks!"
There are many times where we're called to things we can do something for, like giving money to things. I never really have money of my own, and the one time I did recently, I gave every bit away for this group supporting Kendall Bayne's cancer fight. Well, the Lord said when you bless another, you too will be blessed, and I found the exact amount I know I gave away to them, sitting in my pocket. I knew I didn't leave my house with money, and I knew there was only one reason that it showed up. God put it there.
Back to the point of this post though.
We had this man who used to work for the International Justice Mission, or IJM giving the sermon at church the other day, and he basically talked the whole time about ending modern-day slavery, and prostitution in the world. He said that even though we know we're not always thinking we are the best for the job, God will definitely provide you with the necessary resources that you need in order to get His work done! I think that we also expect God to just give it to us without us trying to get the things we need. I think that if we just go and give it a shot, God's provision will be clear as day when we realize that something showed up that we didn't have before. I sure tell you what, money isn't the only thing he's provided for me when I felt called into something, even if it was sprung on in a moment's notice.
At Saranac this summer, I had a friend give his life to Jesus. Praise God for that, but the thing was, he didn't really know how to surrender his life to Christ, because no one had told him how. One thing I can say, the months and the week before camp especially was a very difficult time. I felt like I had lost everything that I could say was good. I had no friends at home other than Zack and Tanveer, who I got to spend little time with. I went to church every week, but I didn't really have other things to do. Campaigners each week helped a little, but it wasn't enough. The bible study I was apart of also helped a bit, but I couldn't always guarantee I was going to be able to go.
Thing was, I was at a dead point in faith. So during the week at Saranac, I didn't know why, but I wasn't the TJ Vaught that people had seen from me just a month before at school. It was like I had gone back to most of my freshman year, where I was just a kid who didn't care. Sure, I hung out with them like i wasn't, but I acted like an idiot, I talked in ways I shouldn't have, and I still thought that I was fine. Boy did I get a wake up call.
My leader, Pete and my friends all noticed that I was being a bit different, and it wasn't okay to them. My friends all knew that something was up, and they wanted to know what. Truth is, I felt alone. I had little contact with the world, and my friends more specifically, and I grew tired of it. We liked to go out and talk after Cabin Time, and one night, I went out, sat by myself, and just thought about what was going on, and why it felt like I had a target on my chest. Nick, Zack, Pete, all tried to pull it out of me, but I wasn't letting anyone in. Eventually, I opened up to Nick, and he helped me a lot. Pete then pulled me over and was as honest as could be, saying, "This is not the TJ Vaught I know", basically. We talked and I was convinced he was right about some things that needed immediate change. Others, I had to let die down slowly.
I had felt like Tanveer and I were at odds for whatever reason. We never talked, he seemed like he hated being around me, and I kind of felt like a burden. Well, this was one of the things that needed immediate fixing, or mine and Tanny's friendship may never be good again. Tanny and I talked, and we each told each other what was mostly pissing us off about the other. He showed me the error of my way of showing it, and all was good. God provided some type of boldness to Pete and Zack and Nick, and he provided boldness and courage to me. Without that provision, I'm not sure how Tanny would feel about me now.
God had fixed me in my worst problem stage of my life since before I gave my life to Jesus. In no better timing, mind you.
Back to my friend who gave his life to Jesus at this camp. We were talking after our 20 minute time with Jesus, and my friend was convinced he wanted to, but like I said he didn't know how! So we were talking by a tiki torch about what we did during the 20 minutes, and just before everyone left, I wanted to ask how we could pray for one another, and my friend looked at me and said, I'll stay, when everyone left. Once it was me and him, he told me that he saw the way my friends and I who had Jesus had nothing but pure fun while doing simple things, and he said he wanted it. Obviously, this instills a little bit of an obligation to help him to come to Jesus in anyone, so I told him, "Let's pray for it" basically. To make this story shorter, and to clear up confusion that may arise, God took me, the most obviously not qualified person to help someone come to Christ, and used me to do so. God provided the boldness I needed to take anger away from my heart, the forgiveness I so desperately need every day, in order so I no longer feel burdened, and the discernment to see that my friend wanted to find true life. Also, I was provided with the wisdom to help him do so. God provides the things you need, to do His work.
This was one of the things that I thought about when the man was talking about how God will use the people who don't seem like much, or don't have the necessary things, and use them and provide them with those things.
The exact quote was
"God does not call the qualified. He qualifies the called."
Didn't Jesus even say something like "When you ask for anything in my Name, it will be given to you." Granted this is when you are void of selfish ambition. God will give you the things you ask when your goal is to further the kingdom.
Alrighty, have a good week
Love you guys
PS: Happy Birthday to my Dad!
TJ
"God does not call the qualified. He qualifies the called."
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